THE BRODIE BROTHERS BUNDLE
FUNNY BUSINESS
A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar.... They’re all Owen Brodie.
It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour.
Dear Ms. Hogan,
I’m emailing to offer you the job as my son’s nanny because Sam had a temper tantrum when I told him I can’t hire you to come on my stand-up tour with us. “She heckled me at a club a few years ago,” I wanted to say. “She is the sassy little turd who trolls me on Twitter,” I could have told him. “She’s an even bigger pain in the butt when we’re face-to-face,” I thought to myself. What I would never tell him is - things could get complicated. For reasons.
Let me know if you want the job.
With great reluctance,
Owen
#AdorableHowObsessedYouAreWithMe
Dear Mr. Brodie,
Thank you for your email. Please inform Sam that I like him very much and would love to be his nanny and accompany him on your terrible joke of a stand-up tour.
I can assure you - things will not get complicated. For many, many reasons.
Primarily because Owen Brodie isn’t funny, and he can suck it.
Out of financial desperation and a fondness for your son,
Frankie
#GetOverYourselfPrettyBoy
* This audiobook is completely duet style. Narrated by Teddy Hamilton and Emma Wilder. Featuring Zachary Webber, Jason Clarke, Mackenzie Cartwright and Connor Crais.
ATTACHMENT THEORY
An actor, a model, and a younger man walk into a therapist’s office.... They’re all Dylan Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the single mom therapist he can’t stop flirting with.
Dear Mr. Brodie,
I hope this email finds you well.
Your well-being and personal growth are of the utmost importance to me, as a therapist.
As such, I have decided it is in your best interest to continue individual therapy with another practitioner.
This is due to the potential for boundaries being crossed between us.
Attached is a list of colleagues I would recommend for you.
Sincerely,
Scarlett Shepard, MS, MFT
Dear Scarlett,
Cool.
Consider our sessions terminated.
Now I can tell you how beautiful you are and how attracted I am to you.
Let’s start crossing boundaries over dinner tonight.
You’ll say it would be unethical, and I’ll point out that we’ve only had a few sessions.
You’ll cite the age difference, and I’ll tell you how hot it is that you’re six years older than me.
You’ll say you’re a mom, and I’ll remind you that I think your son is awesome.
We don’t have to discuss my former attachments to former co-stars ever again.
This is due to the fact that clearly my only personality issue is that I’m irresistible.
Yours in well-being and personal growth,
Dylan Brodie, W.M.H.T.A.T.Y.E.H. (Way More Handsome and Talented Actor Than Your Ex-Husband)
GOOD VIBRATIONS
A former model, a grumpy lawyer, and a single dad walk into an audition for a children's musical.... They’re all Miles Brodie. It’s only cute if you aren’t the director who’s being bribed to cast his daughter.
Dear Ms. Cross,
Re: our discussion
- True. Casting my daughter as the lead in your musical could be considered bribery if people find out I’m investing in it, but no one needs to know.
- I only want to hire you as Macy’s singing coach so her vocal skills will improve.
- Maybe if you’d spent less time surfing and more on your singing career, you wouldn’t be in this financial predicament.
- Re: your living situation—my neighbor has a guest house. If you cast Macy as Alice, I will pay for your first three months’ rent.
Do we have a deal?
Best regards,
Miles Brodie
Dear Mr. Brodie,
- It absolutely is bribery, but I absolutely need that money for my production. Thanks!
- It is very cute that you will do anything to get Macy this part, but I would only coach that sweet child as a favor to all mammals with functional hearing.
- If I spend less time surfing, will you spend less time jogging on my beach with your shirt off?
- You want to pay me to live next door so you don’t have to drive anywhere to frown at me?
- I have another condition for casting Macy as Alice—you have to perform the part of the Cheshire Cat.
Purrrrrrr,
Aria