Dancing around your baby’s room to “Come and Get Your Love” like Star-Lord in Guardians of the Galaxy—in an Elmo costume?

Yeah. Me too.

And yet, here we are. This isn’t even the most humiliating thing I’ve done lately.

The first was leaving drunk messages when I was out partying with my cousins.
The second was trying to seduce her on the Staten Island Ferry.
The third was so terrible, I’m not even going to tell you about it.

I need to pull it together before the hot, busy, suddenly grumpy mother of my child forgets why she married her sexy, brilliant, occasionally infuriating former boss in the first place.
This is just how it goes for the men in my family… We get knocked down…but we get up again.
And nothing’s ever going to keep me down when it comes to my wife.